Woman After God’s Own Heart

woman after god's own heartHere at the top of 2019, there is really only one thing on my mind – making more room for God in my life. Getting closer to Him than I have ever been. Seeking Him whole-heartedly. Developing a deeper love for who He is and not just what He can do for me. Learning to hear from Him and listening for His spirit. Being obedient to His word and trusting His direction. Surrendering my plans for His will and being content with Him alone. I am all in.

“In all your ways, submit to Him and He will make your paths straight”

Proverbs 3:6

I’m in a place where I don’t really know what’s next for me, but even when I don’t have an answer, God has a plan. There is nothing I want more than to hear Him clearly and to walk the path He’s laid for me. In order to really accomplish this, I have to put on my noise cancellation head phones and walk forward with tunnel vision. Keep my eyes on Him, seeking Him first in all that I do. There are so many things in this world that have to potential to distract us from our relationship with Him – our worries, busyness, anxiousness, relationships, stress, fear, disappointment, sadness, pessimism, rejection, work, school, and even the weather. But at this point, I just want to be more focused than I ever have. I want to be so caught up in Him that those things don’t knock me off track and don’t get the best of me. Anything and anyone that interferes with this journey can’t stay.

As I sat back and reflected on 2018, I recognized that I was “too busy” for God. He was on my mind, I prayed and talked to Him a good amount… I even cracked my Bible open from time to time. But that intentional time that should have been set aside for Him wasn’t there. He would get my full attention only after I slowed down for the day (or the week). There were many periods overs the year where I’d be on the go for 3 to 4 weeks at a time before I slowed down long enough to have real quiet time with my Best Friend. I did many meaningful things last year, but busyness is not an excuse to put my relationship with Him on the back burner. This to me just means that I need to be more selective about what all I say “yes” to. Less Me, More Him. 

“Commit to the Lord whatever you do, and he will establish your plans.”

Proverbs 16:3

I consider my relationship with God to be like my relationship with other humans I care about. If you love someone, you make time for them. You spend time getting to know them. You put in work for the relationship. You’re faithful and committed. You listen to them and do things that you know will make them happy. Our relationships with God should be no different. Talk to Him about any and everything. Pour your heart out to Him the way David did when he wrote Psalms. After all, he was considered a man after God’s own heart (1 Samuel 13:14). Listen for Him to speak back to you and really hear Him out. Build trust with Him. Try to keep His commands. And know that you will never come across anyone else in this world who can love you like Him.

There is nothing in this world that can satisfy me the way God can. There is no one else who will always be there when I need someone. No one can comfort me like He can. Even my family and friends who have my best interest at heart can’t see and control my future. He is the only one who truly knows what is best for me. He has plans to give me the most amazing future. One I can’t even dream of. Knowing this, I’m trying to strengthen my faith in Him and yield to His leading. Even when my flesh wants one thing, I want my spirit to be stronger. Even when my desires begin to overtake me, I want to remember that His plans are far greater than mine. I trust Him more than I trust myself.

“‘For I know the plans I have for you,’ declares the Lord, ‘plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.'”

Jeremiah 29:11-13

Now I’ll be honest. As cute as it sounds, this life isn’t always easy to live. Sometimes I look around and have to ask myself “why me?” Why do I have convictions like I do? Why did He choose me to be one of His? I am beyond grateful, but if I’m allowed to be transparent, sometimes I want to go out and wild out like everybody else. But I can’t. There is something on my life and God is taking me to new heights. He has me in His grip and I know that this surrendered life is far greater than living a life of this world. The people I encourage by sharing His promises. The peace and contentment that He provides. The deliverance and strength, blessings and joy. The hope for the future. The love and forgiveness that He gives freely, even when we don’t deserve it. It is all worth it.

So how do I plan to be this woman after God’s own heart? I’ll do whatever it takes. I’ll let go of whoever and whatever I need to. I’ll turn down certain opportunities that may pull me away from Him. I’ll slow my world down a bit. I’ll get up early and pray before I leave the house. I talk to Him all throughout the day, before I make decisions, and before I give advice. I’ll thank Him for all that He’s done and all that He’s doing behind the scenes. I’ll fast. I’ll dive into His word more consistently. I’ll join Bible studies and surround myself with more people who are headed in the same direction. I’ll spend less time on social media and be careful about what I feed my spirit. I’ll pour out my heart to Him in my journal. I’ll write out all of my plans, hopes, and desires and lift it up to Him, inviting Him into my circumstances. I’ll tell Him that if any of my desires don’t align with His plans for my life, then to change my mind. Some of these things are already in the works while others are on the way. Nonetheless, I’ll do whatever it takes.

I am on a journey. I am in process. I want to be the woman He called me to be. Life is too short for me to keep fighting against Him, because He’s fighting for me. And at the end of it all, He will have His way.

Jourdan Janae

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