Often we hear people say things like “good men don’t exist,” “all the good ones are taken,” or “n*ggas ain’t sh*t”. Well, I’m here today to acknowledge the fact that they do exist and sometimes they may need to be uplifted. This post was inspired by three young men who have been on my heart that I believe are inherently good guys. Perfect? Not at all, but no one is. Have they made mistakes? Yes, but we all have. Sometimes we have to see past the flaws and empower the greatness within our men. Am I suggesting you stay with a guy that treats you poorly? Absolutely not (but that’s a post I’ll write another day). However, if you sense that there is greater within a man you know, whether it’s a relative, associate, friend, or lover, then point it out. Encourage it. Pour into him. And if you are involved with a guy that treats you poorly, walk away but keep him in your prayers.
Maybe he is good but not ready or needs to mature quite a bit. Maybe he is good but needs help beyond what you can give, or maybe he is lost in this world. I’m writing about the guys who deep down have good intentions but maybe don’t always make the best decisions. The ones that have all the potential in the world but are dealing with their own hurt which tends to manifest itself as hurting others emotionally. The guys who try so hard and still fall short. The ones who have made mistakes and are looking for a way to forgive themselves for the destruction they may have caused. The guys who you can see doing amazing things if only they could tap into their potential. The men who are there for their kids or would be there if they had kids. The ones who would never abuse a woman. The ones who can own up to their mistakes and have desires to make a change (and follow through). The ones who would give the world to others if they could but can barely find the strength to love themselves. & the list could go on.
Every guy is different and should be treated as such. Some may be working through their downfalls while others may be resisting and remaining stagnant. Some of the men who on the surface may seem “wrong,” could actually be one of those good men. Maybe he isn’t good for you, but hopefully he is better to the next person. You never know how far a prayer for him could go; how meaningful your words of encouragement could be. We should be rooting for them, empowering them, and helping to build them up rather than tear them down. We are called to love one another, and you never know; you might be the only person speaking life into that imperfect mans spirit.
I’m no expert about men, but I am thankful for the good ones I have met. These were experiences that didn’t exactly work out how I planned in my eager mind, but were still significant learning moments. You may have had bad experiences with a person, but when you consider them as a person apart from the relationship, are they good people deep down? Even if you determine that they’re not, it never hurts to pray for the people around you.
The three on my heart are not the only good men I know. They’ve just impacted me greatly and some of my deepest prayers have been for them. The remainder of this post is an acknowledgement to each of them, followed by a prayer for our men. For any guy reading this, be encouraged, pray for yourself, and pray over the other good men in your life too.
I once encountered a guy who was always real with me. Through all the up and downs, I never had to question what I meant to him. Even in his darkest days, he still cared about me with all that he had. The honesty would cut deep sometimes, but that’s one of the things I appreciate most about our encounters. I believe I don’t have trust issues today because a person I felt so deeply for respected me enough to be truthful. He also has a lot of wisdom and a tendency to question everything. I’ll never forget when he asked me how can we love each other if we don’t even know ourselves. Although at the time it was a rather annoying question and I felt he was being complicated, it stuck with me. He was right, which is something I later learned. I believe I’m less naive than I may have been if I hadn’t met him. I think a bit deeper about things now and surface level interactions are no longer enough. He isn’t perfect, but he has a perspective I believe is valuable. I can’t wait to watch him walk into his purpose. I know if I was able to learn a great deal from him, others can too. Be very careful, then, how you live—not as unwise but as wise, making the most of every opportunity, because the days are evil. Ephesians 5:15-16
There was another guy that I cared about with everything in me. The most ambitious person I know. The guy who will no doubt be successful in anything he pursues. The one I look up to when I am afraid to step out of my comfort zone and his life alone serves as encouragement. He makes me want to do more in my life; to be greater. He had a respect for me that I appreciate. To have such strong lustful desires but never even attempt to cross any lines with me. He genuinely cared about me and knew that he couldn’t be what I wanted at the time. No matter what perceptions people may have of him, I see him. No matter how he may see himself, I believe in him. Beyond the surface. Past the credentials. Praying for his salvation everyday. Because even if a person inherits every material thing in this world, it means nothing without peace and love. It is my hope that he is truly happy, on the inside & out. “Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.” Romans 12:2
And then there was the guy who reminded me that good guys do still exist. The two previously mentioned are amazing guys and I love them both, but I had encounters with them before I really knew myself. When things went “wrong”, I had a lot of negative self talk and would question why love was always unrequited. I knew they were good guys, but that didn’t help increase my hope for love in the future. I wondered why they’d say they don’t deserve me instead of just changing for me. I was convinced they didn’t think I was worth changing for. But that is a very naive and selfish way of thinking and I’ve grown a great deal since then. As mentioned above, good guys exists but may have their own things to work through. That has absolutely nothing to do with me.
So to the one who restored my hope, Thank You. I know God moves at his own speed and I trust His plan, but I’ll admit it can be hard sometimes to believe what you can’t see. I met this one after I finally had time to heal, learn who I am and what I want, and had reached a state of peace that I’ve never felt before. For the very first time I had true contentment. I was able to see his goodness for what it is. I think God purposely walked him into my life to remind me to continue being patient. He is a true man of God and I am not sure he even realizes it yet. So I’m acknowledging it. The guy who is slow to anger and quick to forgive. The one who will do whatever it takes to protect and be a provider for his family. The guy who desires to be the very best man he can be and won’t be satisfied until he gets closer. The guy who thinks I’m amazing and recognizes my value. And even though the time wasn’t right, I still think he is a very beautiful man in progress. It is okay to not have it all figured out yet. I hope that he is able to find peace in not knowing what is to come. And I hope he never stops self-reflecting. It’ll be the key to becoming the man he wants to be. “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you” Jeremiah 29:11-12
I come to you today to thank you for the good men that I’ve encountered. Not every guy is good, but I’m grateful for the ones that do exist. I pray that you remind them that they are good people and that you have a greater purpose for them on this earth. I pray that no matter how much people try to bring them down, they know who they truly are. God if you are for them, who could be against them?
I pray they never give up on themselves or their dreams. They are strong enough to reach their every goal. Encourage them and show them that they can do all things through you who give us strength. Lord, I’m asking that you increase their confidence and if they are discouraged, please lift them up.
God, I pray that you give them guidance and direction. If they are lost, please show them the way. Lord I pray they trust you enough to let you lead. I pray they know that your way is the best way. You are able to do exceedingly, abundantly, above all we could ask or think, so I pray that they are willing to trust you.
God, I’m praying for their surrender. That they sacrifice their way for your way. You have sight beyond what we can see, and if they seek you first, you’ll provide for their every need. In a world full of corruption, at least we know you’ll never leave us or forsake us. Please let this be encouragement for any of these men that may not have any hope left.
And Lord, I’m also praying that they know you are a forgiving God. If you can forgive us, then we should be able to forgive ourselves as well. I pray that if they are walking around with any guilt or shame, that you remove that burden from their shoulders. I pray that they forgive themselves for whatever mistakes they have made and know that they are free.
I pray that they have the courage to walk forward even when they don’t know what lies ahead. I pray they believe that greater is to come. Lord, for any of them that may be dealing with past hurts, I pray that you provide healing. I pray that they are delivered from whatever may be hindering them. I’m praying for growth and prosperity for all of them. I pray the spirit of complacency off of their lives and that they remain humble. I pray they keep aiming towards being the best they can be.
Lord, I just pray that you take care of them. I pray they know that you are there when they need you. All they have to do is seek you and you’ll will be there. I pray they stop trying to carry the weight of the world on their shoulders and allow you to carry their burdens. I pray that they are able to experience the peace that comes with surrendering and trusting you. And God, I pray they begin to recognize you working in their lives if they haven’t already. Lord thank you so much for taking care of these men.
I love you. In Jesus Name I Pray,