Getting along with other people is not always the easiest task. With clashing personalities, it may sometimes be a struggle. I’ve been able to get along well with mostly anyone I meet but it isn’t because I never encounter the personality clash. This may sound like an overstatement or like I act differently with different people, but really I’m just accepting of our differences. Here’s the key:
1. Finding the Good in Every Person
We all have flaws. We all do things that not everyone will appreciate. At the same time, we all have many positive apsects of our personality that can be seen as good universally. To get along with even the most rude person you know, try to identify a few things they do well or that you find admirable. Once you identify those characteristics, focus on that instead of how rude they can be.
2. Agree to Disagree
Because no two people are the same, we are bound to disagree with others. A disagreement alone should not be the reason you put an end to your relationship with another person. In some instances, you will never see eye to eye and you must understand that just because that person isn’t seeing things your way doesn’t make their way wrong. This is where agreeing to disagree will help you. “But what about when you need to agree on a decision?” This is where compromise & finding an easy medium is necessary. Before this is even an option, you must be willing to compromise. When you agree to disagree, you should whole heartedly understand where your counterpart is coming from & accept it without hostility. Once both of you have done that, you should be able to work together to find a solution that satifies you both.
3. Be Understanding & Accepting
To accept, you must understand. Have you ever met someone that goes against your belief system? Did you know it was possible to still love them and treat them with kindness? Who are you to judge? In their eyes, you may be going against their beliefs in the same manner. Realize that you can understand and accept a person without agreeing with or encouraging their behavior.
To understand a person different from yourself, put yourself in their shoes. Ask yourself why would they do what they do. Do your best to rationalize it. Take the time to consider what factors may have played a role in developing who that person is.
Once you have some understanding or insight into their behaviors or beliefs, you have the choice to accept it and continue to live your life the way you feel is right or don’t accept it and condemn that person. But what good comes out of not accepting them? Your disapproval will not change that person. But if you choose to not accept them, it will make getting along with them a bit more difficult.
4. Confrontation to Gain Understanding
By confrontation I am specifically referring to the act of respectfully pulling someone to the side and talking to them about how their behavior has affected you. By using a gentle approach, the other person should not feel attacked. Maybe this person was not aware that they were doing something you did not like. Maybe they were doing it on purpose because you did something they did not consider ideal. Either way, open communication could help the situation. It may not always solve it, but at least this way you know you tried.
To get along with a person does not mean you have to be best friends or even friends at all. It means you know how to be cordial and not easily angered every time someone says something you do not like. We are suppose to love everyone. Let that anger and hostility go. Lastly, remember to focus on what your neighbor does well!